I struggle at times to be mindful. As much as I try, it is hard not to worry about the future, past troubles can bother me sometimes too. Today was a perfect Sunday because I just felt this sense of ease, an inner happiness and thankfulness for the simple things in life. I … More A perfect Sunday.
In some ways, at times, I’ve found the time after treatment and getting what looks like the ‘all clear’ more challenging. I’ve read this is common place. I think it hits you more in the time after, the time when people think you must be feeling on top of the world and that you’ll never … More Jumping at my own shadow.
I don’t have the words. I’m speechless and the emotions are hard to fully articulate right now. On Monday the 30th of April I had the post chemotherapy PET scan in Sheffield. I went with my hubby and mother. It was harder than the first PET scan. It felt like more was resting on … More It looks like complete remission.
I haven’t updated this blog since before the sixth and hopefully last round of chemotherapy. Raphael will be up soon. Probably at the point that I finally manage to nod off. I can’t sleep, my heart is racing and my mouth feels cacky and dry since I brushed flossed and rinsed. My mind wanders occasionally … More Scanxiety and getting back on the horse of life.
The wig lies like an unwanted animal in a box, hibernating under my bed. Though it never really went away for the winter. It just never had its season. I had some visits from the wig lady months in to treatment. I had mixed feelings about it. I know that there’s nothing wrong with wigs. … More To wig or not to wig?
Many people have commented on how well I look during chemotherapy. It’s amazing what a bit of makeup and a beautiful head scarf can do. Today I feel as I usually do post chemo, like a bear with sore head, as if I am recovering from a heavy night of drinking. Not that I have … More THE FINAL ROUND?
It is the eve of, hopefully the last round of my RCHOP chemotherapy regime to destroy the bastard marshmallow lymphoma man. Round 6 of 6. Did I just type that? Am I nearly there already? I keep using words like ‘hopefully’ and ‘potentially ‘to protect myself and others. I can’t run too fast or I’ll … More Could this be my last Chemo? Please let it be so.